I Hate Buffet Restaurants

When I lived in the states, buffet restaurants were in every town and were certainly King and Queen in Las Vegas where the “Buffet and a Show” was on every visitor’s schedule.  The problem is, I hate a buffet restaurant.

buffet restaurant

I don’t care if they do have the big fat yeast rolls or enough food to fill Aunt Martha who weighs 300 lbs.  It just feels like bellying up to the trough.  No, I like my food brought to my table that’s been set with real dishes, cloth napkins and served with a nice glass of wine.

Cooking at home is no problem for me.  I like to cook and I’m pretty good at it, so when I go out to eat I want food better than I can make at home.  The buffet style restaurant just doesn’t cut it for a foodie.

I was invited to dinner at a local Chinese buffet restaurant the other day by a good friend who REALLY wanted to go there.  She said she was dying of hunger and could eat half of everything they served.

How do I say, “Sorry, can’t be bothered, find someone else”?

I didn’t.  I went along.

Honestly, I knew better that it wouldn’t end well.  And it didn’t.

We arrived and the place was 3/4 full which said that maybe I’d been wrong and maybe the food was pretty good.  I hadn’t realized that it was nearly full because it was school holidays and the winter holidays are when the folks who can’t afford to travel come to Queensland.  Yes, the place was filled with holiday makers who couldn’t afford more than an all-you-can-eat joint.

After being seated we were given plates and headed to the “trough.”  The man in front of me must have been 7′ tall and weighed way more than he should.  He was filling two plates.  He looked at me and said, “Someone my size eats a lot.”


Then he sneezed and dropped one of his plates on the floor – all over one of my shoes.  I know, I should be grateful that it wasn’t both shoes but still, his germ laden food on my foot was gross.  I gave him one of those, “oh well” little laughs and tried to step around him so I could get to the food without any sneeze on it and stepped on something slippery and down I went.  I was fine but my dignity was definitely bruised.

So now I had a shoe covered in food and my bottom was now the same way.  Oh good.  What fun.

My friend?  She was on the other side and came through unscathed and ungermed.

I took enough food to last me until I got home and I watched as Jamie ate until I was sure she was going to explode.

“Oh, it’s so good,” she kept saying as if that was reason for going back for visit number three.  The food wasn’t that good, my shoe was ruined and my dignity was still in tatters with food all over my backside.

Remind me about this night if I ever say I’m going to a buffet again.

Have you always enjoyed a buffet?  Have I ruined it for you?

People Are Funny

zombie foodBecause of my blog at OrgasmicChef.com, my husband wrote a WordPress recipe plugin so that my blog could be nicely formatted and yet still give Mr. Google all the back-end bits and pieces that they require in order to give my recipes a photo and a rating and hopefully come up as relevant for the recipe name.

We’ve offered the plugin to other food blogs to use and we were going through the list of recipes that people have created using EasyRecipe.  It was more like a quick scan because there are nearly 90,000 of them and they’re coming in at the rate of 1 every minute or so.

We decided to reward people who were kind enough to tick the box on the plugin saying they wanted their recipe photos to be included in our promotions so they get a link back to their blogs.  We’re not pinching their recipes, only the main photo they’ve selected and linking it back to their site.

All recipes that get entered using our plugin must fill in the cuisine tag because Google requires it as a part of their recipe view inclusion.  Now you’d think that most people who write a food blog would understand what the word cuisine means but I’ve got to tell  you that you’d be wrong if you thought that too.  I’ve been going through a list of cuisines that don’t fit what WE thought the normal cuisines would be.  You know, French, Canadian, Australian, Swedish, etc., etc.

Here are a few “cuisines” that made me scratch my head:

  • doggy treats
  • Balls (I don’t want to know)
  • 2-cups
  • All of the above and below (I have NO clue)
  • Peanut butter and jelly (I’d put this one under American)
  • Injection
  • Crispy Bits and Burnt Ends (I need to meet this person)
  • Make-up (edible?)
  • Problem solver
  • Zombie  (this dish is probably best served cold)

So far I’ve classified most of the cuisines and will have to consolidate them now from names like “Dolce di Carnevale” to Italian and “Hoofdgerect” — I’m guessing Dutch but I’ll have to look it up and so on.  THEN I have to work on meal type.  It makes me roll my eyes to see what meal types people come up with for what I would classify as breakfast, lunch, dinner, picnic,  snack, beverage or dessert.  Here are a few meal types:

  • allergy-friendly (probably better suited for a tag)
  • dipping sauce (condiment?)
  • Buns (Come on over for buns around 7?)
  • homegrown
  • Maine (I’m sure they meant Main. I’m from Maine and John wanted to know if Maine was a national cuisine.  No.)
  • Rice
  • Sweet Tooth (While I have the sweetest tooth in town, I suspect this is dessert)

I can’t wait to share with you what we’re doing with all these photos.  It looks very cool indeed and I’m very proud of my long suffering husband/programmer who will code anything I ask.  Even if he thinks it’s dumb.  Not this one – we both like it and we hope you will too.



Good lord you’d think I was pregnant with the cravings I’ve been having lately.  Like today – John asked what we were having for dinner and I gave a mental note of what we had in the freezer that I could magically thaw because I hadn’t given a moment’s notice to dinner planning.  Some days are like that.  I love to cook but if I’m busy with a project or work, I’ve got a one track mind.

rainbow beefAs I was thinking what would be really easy (yes, even orgasmic chefs need a break) I said, “Remember that place in Maroochydore where we had that crispy beef with plum sauce?  That’s what I want for dinner, but I’ll scrounge something up downstairs.”

A few minutes later he said, “Belly Good?”

“Yes, that’s the place, on Duporth Avenue.”

“Let’s go get what you’re craving and we can call it a date.  I take you to the best places.”

I WAS craving and no, that’s not on the list of best places but I really wanted that beef.  I could close my eyes and taste it.  Turns out it’s called Rainbow Beef and it tasted just as good as I remembered it did the first time I ate it. We don’t normally go out and rarely do we eat fast food and Belly Good is probably the Chinese McDonalds but I really wanted this dish.

Usually I build something up in my mind and when I have it again I think, “why was I craving this?  remind me.”  Not this time.  I looked at my big plate of gooey, crispy redness and reached for the chopsticks.

Finishing a plate of food is something I’m not often capable of and I’ll admit that John helped me eat a fair bit of it but the plate was completely empty by the time we left there.  I think of it and sigh – it was exactly what I wanted.

Sometimes it’s perfectly okay to feed your cravings.  It’s especially okay when it coincides with a date night.

Do you have food or beverage cravings?  I wonder where in our brains cravings come from and then I wonder, “Are cravings silly?  “