Women Aren’t Women Anymore

women aren't women anymoreI could feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck as I read an article by Suzanne Venker about women’s war on men, published on the Fox News opinion blog.  Ms. Venker is convinced that women have gone about equality all wrong.

We have emasculated men and now they won’t marry us.  She’s spoken with “thousands of men” who tell her they aren’t ever getting married because women aren’t women any more.

It seems that men haven’t changed one bit and women have gone through this huge overhaul and nothing is fair anymore.  “Men didn’t NEED a revolution!” I want to scream into my computer monitor.

She might be a qualified writer and author of three books on the American family but who is she writing for?  Does she want to go back to the place where women had little opportunity in the workplace?  Further back and not be permitted to work at all?  Further back and not be allowed to vote?   I can go back even more but we’d all be sobbing.

While I don’t live in America any longer, I still have the American gene in my body and I feel confident that I understand the way many American women think.  They’d smack this woman with their iPhone as they head off to work.

She opines that women are angry at men and defensive all at the same time and we’ve pushed men off their pedestal because we never realised that we were sitting on one already.  Give me a fucking break.  I saw my ex mother-in-law do as she was told.  She never heard of feminism and I promise you, there was no pedestal for women in that household.  My mother didn’t know about feminism either and you guessed it, she wasn’t on a pedestal either.

Maybe Ms. Venker is too young to know what it was really like for those of us who were coming of age in the 60s but I know because I lived it.  I remember life before the pill when only “bad girls” got pregnant before marriage.

She goes on to say that the lack of great men to marry is most likely the fault of women because we’ve browbeat them and told them there was something wrong with them.  “Men aren’t threatened by us, they’re pissed off,” she says.  To that I say, “Good!  If we’ve pissed men off because we want equal rights to the same jobs, equal pay for the same job and the right to feel respected and valued, then I say I’m glad they’re pissed off and it’s not gonna get better.”

Men no longer have to marry us because we’ll have sex at hello, the article says.  I’m not sure where that comes from because I don’t know one woman, not one, who sleeps around with total strangers.  Maybe her circle of friends is different considering that she’s talked with thousands of men about sex.  I’ve run a dating site on the internet for years and I can tell you that even online, women are women and yes, some sleep around but most don’t.

You’ll be pleased to know that she ends up with really good news.  We can turn around this mess we’ve made with feminism by surrendering to our nature – our feminity.   Yes, and that and $5 will get you coffee but it won’t pay the rent and it won’t appease our frustration at not getting paid the same as men and being passed over for promotion.

Men with brains do exist, Ms. Venker.  I’m married to one.  He knows he doesn’t own me, he considers my opinions worth listening to, he treats me with love and respect and is my biggest champion as I am his.  I bet he’s not the only one like that.  You should widen your circle of friends.


Sexual Politics

sexual politicsI was talking with an old friend from the states yesterday and he’s convinced that all the problems over there started 40 years ago when women decided they should be equal to men in every way.  “Feminism has taken over the political process,” he said.

He went on to say that “men used to talk about real issues and now everything is an attack on masculinity, marriage and the family.”

All I could think of in reply was, “huh? What planet are you on?” but of course I didn’t say that.  I went to university with this guy so we’ve known each other for a very long time.  He thinks that feminism is the cause of all problems everywhere in the world. “Women used to know their place,” he said.

Okay, that’s where I couldn’t hold my tongue (or fingers) any longer.  While I was crafting my clever response, he said, “Feminism isn’t a reform movement, it’s a revolution.”  As if that’s a bad thing.

happier with a hooverI began by saying, “How can you say that women should stay in their place so that men can be happy running the show?  From my perspective you’ve done a pretty shit job of it over there for quite some time.  One war after another, poverty running rife, …  ”  It went on and on and his reply?

“It’s all because Obama is president, he’s allowing all these women to take our country over.”

My eyes started coming out of my head.

“These women?  As if women haven’t been in the United States for a very long time?” I said, “You make no comment on anything I said, only to reply that the current President is the ruination of all and seriously, he’s a man.  Does being black put him in the same category of not knowing his place as women?”

I was so pissed off that I just wanted to smack him in the nose but that’s not what polite society accepts as conversation, plus he is 10,000 miles away.  I decided I needed to leave the conversation so I told him that I’d had enough of the bully mentality as it had been pretty full on here in Australia this week.

He replied, “Yeah, I saw that on the news.  That woman of yours needs to shut the fuck up and accept that men are not going to like her being in power because that’s against the social order – read the Bible.”

I loved the Prime Minster’s response in Parliament the other day.  She spoke for me.  As a woman who’s worked in businesses dominated by men, I know how it feels to be left out of the company sponsored upper management bonding events like deep sea fishing, golf afternoons, etc.  “Oh you don’t want to go with a bunch of smelly men,” one guy said to me once.

There’s never a time that I thought women were better than men but I’ve always known we are equal and have a right to be treated as such.  If men like my now former friend and others like him think women are going to step back from the fight for equality, they’d be wrong.

women hit things

See?  women aren’t as good as men.  We hit things.  Why men don’t get that we’re sick of this crap, I can’t fathom.  Far from spoiling things for them, including women will make the world a much better place for everyone.