You talk to yourself. We all do. We’re often very unkind to ourselves and I know this from personal experience.
Why go? You have nothing attractive to wear and everyone else is going to look terrific and you’re going to look like shit.
Who do you think you are giving advice? There are heaps more people more qualified than you are.
I need to lose weight.
If you were a good person you’d stay home and do the laundry instead of going out with the girls for fun.
You are not 35 any more, go knit something.
I got that in about 10 minutes yesterday so we all need to work on that really bad self-talk that holds us back from achieving all that we want. Okay maybe some people don’t have crap self-talk. I expect that Bill Gates does it too. He probably knows he’s clever and will never run out of money but there might be things we haven’t got a clue about that makes him question himself.
Do you call yourself names? Stop it. No more, “I’m an Idiot!” or “I’m so stupid” or worse. Sometimes people put the f-word in there just to emphasize just how idiotic or stupid they think they are. Does this do us any good? Not one bit. Does it perpetuate that idea that we’re not good enough? You betcha. That voice comes from the past and never belonged to you at all – it comes from parents, relatives, teachers, pastors, friends, acquaintances, classmates and more. You’ve taken it on over the years as yours but it never WAS your voice because your true inner voice loves you and has confidence in you.
Look at the dog in that mirror. Do you think she wonders if she’s good enough? I doubt it. If that dog with very little power can feel good about herself, we can too.
How to Attack Your Inner Critic
The attack begins by listening. Take a notepad with you for a whole day and write down what you hear yourself saying that makes you want to cringe. Every time you question yourself, denigrate yourself, say humiliating things to yourself, write them down. You could do this for as long as a week to really understand the job you’re doing on yourself because these things are the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself. They are all lies! You’ve picked them up like dirt in the subway and they don’t serve you any more.
Once you have your list confirmed, read through it and decide if there is anything there you would want to say to your best friend. I suspect not. Some of the things we say to ourselves we wouldn’t say to people we didn’t like. These beliefs do us no good at all and it’s time they went away.
Read through the list again and one of the phrases or sentences will hurt more than the rest. As you read it, say the opposite to yourself. See how good that feels. Then every time that thought comes into your head, stop it right away and say the opposite. Immediately shift your focus to whatever your personal goal is. Maybe it’s to rule the world or simply get a 20% raise but whatever it is, thinking positively about that is much better than calling yourself names.
Tell yourself how good you’re doing. Acknowledge your achievements. Don’t waste time with excuses for why you’re not farther ahead, that will not serve you. Think only of moving forward with your goal. Imagine what it will feel like when you reach your goal. Life’s good and it’s only getting better. Know this because it’s true.